For far too long, fluffy pets and barnyard animals have thought they were above the law -- and now they're suffering the consequences.
Even though crime is at a historic low in the United States (despite, cough cough, inflammatory reports to the contrary), some animals have escaped the claws of justice. They thought their frighteningly adorable googly eyes and crushingly soft manes meant they could live life above the law.
That time is over.
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There's a new sheriff in town, and that sheriff is your local police officer, forced to pick up a drunk pig on their way home from work.
Below is a list of some of the most wanted barnyard animals/household pets in America.
1. Squishy the miniature donkey, charged with the crime of "wandering on a road"
It's not everyday that you see a donkey in the back of a police car. Ofc Canaan helped get it safely off the roadway pic.twitter.com/z6j4hajDrD
— Norman Police (@normanokpd) December 1, 2015
2. A hardnosed pelican caught WWS (walking while sleepy)
Credit: california highway patrol
3. This anarchist owl who assaulted police officer and crashed his car
Credit: covington police department/facebook
4. Ex-con golden retriever turned himself into the cops
Credit: west windsor police department
5. Michigan drug kingpig does hard time
Tweet may have been deleted
6. (Human dressed as) polar bear headed to the slammer
Credit: misha japaridze/AP
7. Neighborhood squirrel found guilty of acorn embezzlement scheme
Credit: grand rapids police department/facebook
8. Baby seal headed for big baby jail
Credit: mendocino sheriff/facebook
There are millions more animals like them out there, hiding their dystopian criminal agenda behind their effortlessly soft puppy ears.
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